We need to buy the shaper enough time to work her magic on this city, but it is going to be more than a challenge with a third of the city against us. I’m sure the jackal would enjoy the mayhem, but I’m worried about the other people who might get caught in the cross fire. If I lose control too, my friends won’t have the resources to expend to deal with both myself and the city.
It would be a relief to have full control of myself, I admit. But the alternative worries me more… if we can find a way for both halves to work together we can certainly accomplish more. If we could both be more open minded we could learn a lot, he has the experience that I lack but I think that very experience has made him jaded. Yes, there are a lot of terrible things going on in Creation (many which we have caused, whether in this life or a past one) that needs fixing, but I’ve seen so much good in Creation too, especially recently, I’m not ready to give up on it yet.
I have to find a way to convince myself that he is me otherwise I don’t know how long I can go on feeling this… violated. A strong word but there isn’t another that describes how I feel as accurately. I don’t like it, but I think we need each other if we are both going to avoid repeating past mistakes. He warned me that my raiton would be against certain decisions, as though that was a point against him, but from what I’ve seen my other self has a habit of disregarding our raiton’s opinions. I think that should change. Something certainly needs to if either one of us is going to be successful moving forward.